HOOVER DAM STORE IS DAM FUNNY
As one of the many “wonders of the world,” The Hoover Dam on the Nevada/Arizona border is impressive. I’m not sure where this really ranks in the “wonders of the world” list because there are so many.
This past week, NBC’s Today Show credited the new Dallas Cowboy’s Stadium with being the “eighth wonder of the world.” NBC apparently made this claim because: 1. The Today Show was broadcast live from there on Friday, complete with Dallas Cheerleaders surrounding Al and Matt (Note to parents of teenage girls: strongly encourage them to rid their vocabulary of the word “amazing” before they are 21. Between three Cheerleaders, it was used 11 times in 35 seconds) ; 2. NBC carried the Cowboys vs. Giants game live last night. So, naturally, in NBC’s eyes, the new Dallas Cowboy Stadium has become the newest “wonder of the world.” And because Jerry Jones said so.
The Hoover Dam truly is one of the "wonders of the world," but which one? According to Wikipedia, it is one of the Seven Wonders of the Industrial World, and it shows up as a “wonder” several other times as well. I didn’t know there were so many "wonders": Seven Wonders of the Medieval World, Wonders of the Travel World, Seven Wonders of the Underwater World, Seven Wonders of the Ancient World and now USA Today’s New Seven Wonders. Now Cowboy’s Stadium (also called the “Dallas Palace”) has been added to that list by NBC.
But this isn’t about the newest “wonder of the world” and Jerry Jones. It’s about the Hoover Dam gift shop, the best Dam gift shop anywhere.
Last summer, we were in Vegas and decided we’d take a side trip to the Hoover Dam, about 25 minutes away, because it was so incredibly hot in Vegas. Being the untrained meteorologists we are, we thought getting to a higher elevation, out of the dessert, would bring some relief. Wrong…it’s hotter there.
So we took our rented Jeep and went to the Dam. We took the very impressive tour, went down into the Dam and heard a lot about its construction, history, the challenges, etc. It was interesting, but for two people who can hardly hang a picture or a towel rack (a four-month project of Vince’s) it was over our heads.
After being underground for an hour where it was cold, we were glad to get outside, thinking it would be perhaps in the 80’s or 90’s. Wrong. It was approaching 110 at 11:00 a.m. The tour guide told us it could be as much as ten degrees hotter than Vegas, so once again we made an incorrect weather prediction. Now we were walking around the outside of the Dam. And it was Dam hot!
Anxious to get back into air conditioning before walking up a steep hill to get the car, I wanted to go to the gift store. Whenever I go anywhere, whether it’s a “wonder of the world” or not, I go to the gift store.
Vince wanted a “backscratcher,” one of those tacky long plastic things with fingers that you used to find at Myrtle Beach… until you are seriously looking and can never find one. I found one at the Dam Shop, and I was so happy. Then, I had to get the obligatory shot glass for my daughter who has a hundred or so shot glasses. Why? I don’t know. I don’t know if there’s value in shot glasses, but she has them from everywhere. When I’ve visited famous churches or serious museums, Julianne wants me to get her a shot glass. Some places just don’t have shot glasses in their gift stores. But I knew, since I already had the tacky backscratcher, shot glasses wouldn’t be hard to find.
This past week, NBC’s Today Show credited the new Dallas Cowboy’s Stadium with being the “eighth wonder of the world.” NBC apparently made this claim because: 1. The Today Show was broadcast live from there on Friday, complete with Dallas Cheerleaders surrounding Al and Matt (Note to parents of teenage girls: strongly encourage them to rid their vocabulary of the word “amazing” before they are 21. Between three Cheerleaders, it was used 11 times in 35 seconds) ; 2. NBC carried the Cowboys vs. Giants game live last night. So, naturally, in NBC’s eyes, the new Dallas Cowboy Stadium has become the newest “wonder of the world.” And because Jerry Jones said so.
The Hoover Dam truly is one of the "wonders of the world," but which one? According to Wikipedia, it is one of the Seven Wonders of the Industrial World, and it shows up as a “wonder” several other times as well. I didn’t know there were so many "wonders": Seven Wonders of the Medieval World, Wonders of the Travel World, Seven Wonders of the Underwater World, Seven Wonders of the Ancient World and now USA Today’s New Seven Wonders. Now Cowboy’s Stadium (also called the “Dallas Palace”) has been added to that list by NBC.
But this isn’t about the newest “wonder of the world” and Jerry Jones. It’s about the Hoover Dam gift shop, the best Dam gift shop anywhere.
Last summer, we were in Vegas and decided we’d take a side trip to the Hoover Dam, about 25 minutes away, because it was so incredibly hot in Vegas. Being the untrained meteorologists we are, we thought getting to a higher elevation, out of the dessert, would bring some relief. Wrong…it’s hotter there.
So we took our rented Jeep and went to the Dam. We took the very impressive tour, went down into the Dam and heard a lot about its construction, history, the challenges, etc. It was interesting, but for two people who can hardly hang a picture or a towel rack (a four-month project of Vince’s) it was over our heads.
After being underground for an hour where it was cold, we were glad to get outside, thinking it would be perhaps in the 80’s or 90’s. Wrong. It was approaching 110 at 11:00 a.m. The tour guide told us it could be as much as ten degrees hotter than Vegas, so once again we made an incorrect weather prediction. Now we were walking around the outside of the Dam. And it was Dam hot!
Anxious to get back into air conditioning before walking up a steep hill to get the car, I wanted to go to the gift store. Whenever I go anywhere, whether it’s a “wonder of the world” or not, I go to the gift store.
Vince wanted a “backscratcher,” one of those tacky long plastic things with fingers that you used to find at Myrtle Beach… until you are seriously looking and can never find one. I found one at the Dam Shop, and I was so happy. Then, I had to get the obligatory shot glass for my daughter who has a hundred or so shot glasses. Why? I don’t know. I don’t know if there’s value in shot glasses, but she has them from everywhere. When I’ve visited famous churches or serious museums, Julianne wants me to get her a shot glass. Some places just don’t have shot glasses in their gift stores. But I knew, since I already had the tacky backscratcher, shot glasses wouldn’t be hard to find.
With backscratcher, post cards and shot glass in hand, I went to check out. The clerk, obviously a stand up comic in Vegas, used the word “Dam” as many times as he possibly could while ringing up my Dam treasures.
“Oh, I see you have a Dam shot glass. Pretty Dam nice. We have the best Dam shot glasses at the Dam….Oh, and a handy little Dam backscratcher. These are Dam handy, and always remember where you got it …at the Dam. Dam post cards? Well, you can never have enough Dam post cards. These are Dam good…and pretty at that,” he said, proclaiming all that’s good at the Dam.
At this point, I was really laughing because this guy was Dam funny. He probably performed the midnight show at one of the lesser casinos, but he was Dam quick on his feet.
“So, are you paying in Dam money or credit card,” He Damingly asked.
This went on for another five minutes. I can’t begin to explain how many times he used “Dam” in his checkout routine. This guy was good.
I went over to tell Vince just how Dam funny this guy was, but he had already checked out with a lesser not-so-funny Dam clerk, and he didn’t want to get back in line to buy something.
So we left, Dam souvenirs in hand, and went out into the stifling 110 degree plus Dam heat back to the car. It was the best Dam experience I’ve ever had. Or, as they say in Dallas, “amazing.”
“Oh, I see you have a Dam shot glass. Pretty Dam nice. We have the best Dam shot glasses at the Dam….Oh, and a handy little Dam backscratcher. These are Dam handy, and always remember where you got it …at the Dam. Dam post cards? Well, you can never have enough Dam post cards. These are Dam good…and pretty at that,” he said, proclaiming all that’s good at the Dam.
At this point, I was really laughing because this guy was Dam funny. He probably performed the midnight show at one of the lesser casinos, but he was Dam quick on his feet.
“So, are you paying in Dam money or credit card,” He Damingly asked.
This went on for another five minutes. I can’t begin to explain how many times he used “Dam” in his checkout routine. This guy was good.
I went over to tell Vince just how Dam funny this guy was, but he had already checked out with a lesser not-so-funny Dam clerk, and he didn’t want to get back in line to buy something.
So we left, Dam souvenirs in hand, and went out into the stifling 110 degree plus Dam heat back to the car. It was the best Dam experience I’ve ever had. Or, as they say in Dallas, “amazing.”
Fake picture of us in front of Hoover Dam
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