THE INFAMOUS GREAT WHITE STYROFOAM COOLER
Today I am plagiarizing. This was Vince’s column from August 26. I am running it in my blog because he received lots of comments on the cooler column. Everyone can relate. We all had them at one time or another. We had one until a month ago.
Today I am plagiarizing. This was Vince’s column from August 26. I am running it in my blog because he received lots of comments on the cooler column. Everyone can relate. We all had them at one time or another. We had one until a month ago.
*****
STYROFOAM COOLERS ARE CONVENIENT, CHEAP –AND OH SO ANNOYING
By Vince Staten
August 26, 2009, Kingsport Times-News
The Styrofoam cooler is one of the great inventions of the twentieth century.
It’s convenient, lightweight, inexpensive and it works. You can load
it up with drinks, pour on the ice and you are set for the day.
There are just a couple of problems….
I picked one up at the grocery the other day before heading on a trip.
It only costs me four bucks.
Okay, there’s a reason I bought a Styrofoam cooler. I have a “real”
cooler, hard plastic Coleman with beverage holders on the top but when
I went to get it out of the closet, I discovered that one of the kids
had borrowed it and somehow lost the plug. That means when I filled it
with ice and the ice started melting, water would run out all over my
car.
So I bought a Styrofoam cooler because it is convenient. And cheap.
And because my good cooler was out of commission.
I filled it with drinks, covered them with ice and we set out on our trip.
We were driving merrily down the road when it started. Squeak. Squeak.
The Styrofoam was rubbing up against the back seat and making that
annoying squeaking sound. My wife stuffed newspapers between the
cooler and the seat and it quit squeaking. For a couple of seconds.
Then the squeak returned. So she put towels between the cooler and the
seat. And it quit squeaking. For a couple of seconds.
Then she pulled it out from the back of the seat. But then the bottom
of the cooler began rubbing against the bottom of the seat and it
started squeaking again.
Let it go, I said.
So we drove along with an annoying squeak, squeak.
I turned up the radio.
But it didn’t drown out the squeak.
I started thinking about a solution. Could we somehow suspend it in
air between the two hand grabs? I toyed with that idea for about 30
seconds till the squeak got to me.
I took matters into my own hand. I reached around while driving,
intent on pulling the Styrofoam cooler forward.
And my hand went right through the cooler wall. Convenient,
lightweight, inexpensive and breaks with ease.
Good job, I thought. Bust up your cooler.
Then I heard it: squeak, squeak, squeak.
My wife had a great suggestion: What if we take the drinks out of the
cooler. There won’t be any weight to cause it to squeak.
It worked!
Take all the drinks out of the Styrofoam cooler and it doesn’t squeak anymore!
It doesn’t keep your drinks cool…but it doesn’t squeak!
I left the busted Styrofoam cooler on top of a garbage can at a
convenience store. I’m sure as I write it is down by the river filled
with bait.
STYROFOAM COOLERS ARE CONVENIENT, CHEAP –AND OH SO ANNOYING
By Vince Staten
August 26, 2009, Kingsport Times-News
The Styrofoam cooler is one of the great inventions of the twentieth century.
It’s convenient, lightweight, inexpensive and it works. You can load
it up with drinks, pour on the ice and you are set for the day.
There are just a couple of problems….
I picked one up at the grocery the other day before heading on a trip.
It only costs me four bucks.
Okay, there’s a reason I bought a Styrofoam cooler. I have a “real”
cooler, hard plastic Coleman with beverage holders on the top but when
I went to get it out of the closet, I discovered that one of the kids
had borrowed it and somehow lost the plug. That means when I filled it
with ice and the ice started melting, water would run out all over my
car.
So I bought a Styrofoam cooler because it is convenient. And cheap.
And because my good cooler was out of commission.
I filled it with drinks, covered them with ice and we set out on our trip.
We were driving merrily down the road when it started. Squeak. Squeak.
The Styrofoam was rubbing up against the back seat and making that
annoying squeaking sound. My wife stuffed newspapers between the
cooler and the seat and it quit squeaking. For a couple of seconds.
Then the squeak returned. So she put towels between the cooler and the
seat. And it quit squeaking. For a couple of seconds.
Then she pulled it out from the back of the seat. But then the bottom
of the cooler began rubbing against the bottom of the seat and it
started squeaking again.
Let it go, I said.
So we drove along with an annoying squeak, squeak.
I turned up the radio.
But it didn’t drown out the squeak.
I started thinking about a solution. Could we somehow suspend it in
air between the two hand grabs? I toyed with that idea for about 30
seconds till the squeak got to me.
I took matters into my own hand. I reached around while driving,
intent on pulling the Styrofoam cooler forward.
And my hand went right through the cooler wall. Convenient,
lightweight, inexpensive and breaks with ease.
Good job, I thought. Bust up your cooler.
Then I heard it: squeak, squeak, squeak.
My wife had a great suggestion: What if we take the drinks out of the
cooler. There won’t be any weight to cause it to squeak.
It worked!
Take all the drinks out of the Styrofoam cooler and it doesn’t squeak anymore!
It doesn’t keep your drinks cool…but it doesn’t squeak!
I left the busted Styrofoam cooler on top of a garbage can at a
convenience store. I’m sure as I write it is down by the river filled
with bait.
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